I’m gonna resist the “new year” feel. This is the end of just another month in a string of months. I don’t have no bullshit new years resolution because I already made mine years back and its still the same shit. My youtube video is almost done, only music remaining, im very very close, worked practically 12 hours straight on the 31st and into january 1st. Anyway, gotta keep doing the best i can, that’s all anyone can really do in this life.
Stagnation Log 12/16
FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKK woke up late again today. for fucks sake man….
alarm woke up at 8am, but i didn’t have the willpower to stay up, body felt exhausted… FUCK man wtf is wrong with me jesus…
BREATHING I NEED TO BREATH. from now on i need to breath deep and wake the fuck up.
editing is done, need to make music but can’t at work obviously. starting my instagram app today.
almost done final editing, going over it and shit.
okay plan kinda mostly failed, did not fall asleep for awhile and then couldn’t wake up i just felt dead. BUT i did eventually get up and do the major portion of my morning routine before heading to work, so i am happy about that part. I still think theres merit to slowing down my thoughts, but i guess i need something else to get me up. I’m gonna try to put some ambient alarm music, maybe that will work.
ok worked maybe around 5 hours on youtube video. 1 minute worth of new editing remaining. 11 minutes done, its been crazy and educational. But im not done yet but lots of progress. lol i have no idea if anyone will even watch it but i still poured my heart and soul into making this video rant, i really really fuckin tried.
so far today has been amazing. Did my morning routine, ate at home, and been doing my youtube video for over 3 hours at work so far, and still 4 hours left on the shift.
I was laying in bed from 9am to 1030am and couldn’t get the willpower to get up, and then…. i just said “take it slowwwwww”, so i just really chilled out and very very slowly made the movement to get out of bed, then out of the room, then to get some water, then to start my morning routine. I did my best to maintain that slow and steady mentality all the way to work and until now. So far so good!!! maybe i finally figured out a working technique for getting shit done! I guess we’ll see how things go tomorrow but this is pretty amazing. ok back to work!
weekend went to company christmas party fuckin waste of time boring and wack. Back to my youtube video, 90% done with it, then gonna compose some music for it, and publish. Then update my existing apps, then finally get to the secret instagram app i gotta do. My pace is bad, i could be at least twice as fast with my work, im trying im trying. I do feel the fire within me growing again, it’s been a whimper for the second half of this year, i’ve been burned out but im coming back now and strong. It could be my morning routine combined with several other healthful habits, its finally paying off.
fuck it im not goin to bed, need to finish this youtube video!!!!!!!
yesterday got a few hours on youtube video done, before yesterday got tiny tiny bit work done but not good enough.
Today may be good if i can work nonstop for next 2 hours. already worked for around 2 hours, so combined 4. youtube video about 85 percent done.
got lots of work done 12/9 way into the night, 12/10 saturday basically took day off. so far today didn’t get shit done, shameful.
Worked on youtube video at work yesterday for several hours. Man that video is a shit ton of work lol it’s unbelievable.
Today didn’t hear my alarm and overslept, but its my day off so not so bad.
wasted most of the day. Shameful.
spent hours trying to hook up my youtube to adsense… jesus admob fuckin me up, but finally got pending… please god no more problems with that shit.
fuckin sleep schedules i swear. Workin on youtube vid now.