Nothing to report, youtube doing its thing still getting subs

still lazy as fuk with coding this month. still reading stuff learning more. new job at UPS packing trucks physical labor. at least im out of the office.

Stagnation Report 8/19

8/30
1240pm
take it slow and practice Zhan Zhuang.

8/27
927pm
FUCK slept 10 hours… ZZ 24/7
121am
the day started off dissapointing as usual, i fell asleep after work at 10am without even showeing, work up at 4pm+.
then with force of will i practiced Zhan Zhuang for 1.5 hours and felt better, and decided to practice slowness again, i ate and went to play some handball at around 10pm. now home at about 12:30am i actually somehow felt pretty at ease mentally and started working on zombie crisp for the first time in like a month.
i don’t know how i found it within myself to do it at this random time but for some reason i feel at such ease right now, i feel relaxed and just a sense of well being of some kind. the typical revulsion at sitting down to work on apps simply isn’t happening right now and i feel really leisurely about sitting down and doing a little coding. There was that initial discomfort with looking at code i haven’t seen in a month and trying to remember where i left off but i actually pushed through relatively easily. its 1:24 now and i gotta go to job in 15 minutes so ima stop now but im happy my memory of the app got refreshed which is a huge part in motivating me to continue.
I will continue taking it nice and slow with a touch of zhan zhuang essence without being forceful.
i must internatlize the saying “Be relaxed rather than impatient”.

8/25
551am
who the fuck knows what it is man lol
anyways, published another video
Zhan Zhuang is correct 100%, that’s all i know for sure.
1236am
Back to slow living.

8/20
841pm
fuck it, im doing zhan zhuang 24/7, let the magic come from the structure.
1039am
been weird.
new ups job labor.
youtube channel got 11k subs made 2000 bucks but slowed down.
mentally im fucked.
so here’s what im doing.
im slowing down my life in the literal sense, slow movement slow thoughts slow breathing.
im hypothesizing that it will allow my zhan zhuang training to consolidate and eventually i will feel strong spiritual energy and joy. the slow breathing should help raise my energy levels and create strong ability to focus over time, as per buteyko teachings.
I’m gonna do this for 1 complete month to really give it a chance, no bullshitting.
so september 20th ill report back with results.