Stagnation Report 11/20



now after i meditated ZZ for an hour, all that previous thinking feels like whatever lol.

You know… life is like popping a pimple. If its not ready to come out then fuckin with it will only make it worse, if you just leave it alone itll come out on its own eventually.

If you are WISE, you can help the pimple to come out without fuckin with it, through indirect methods such as steaming the skin, and maintaining good overall skin health that is conducive to clear skin and pimples in general will come out faster.

And even when the pimple is begging to pop, you indirectly assist it by slightly stretching the skin around it so the pimple pops itself.

That’s the art of living, how to not fuck with your own life which only makes it worse and how to create the right conditions to indirectly influence life for the better.

Some obvious stuff would be taking care of your health, maintaining high spirits, keeping an open mind, learning to enjoy work for the sake of work, simply trying to have fun with whatever you’re doing.

When you live that way, when that is who you are, then the chances of success increase, and you can be more happy even now, right now.

earlier i was thinking:
Maybe I’m too comfortable in life, maybe in my heart that’s all I need so the motivation to work on business isn’t quite there. There used to be a certain fun excitement to it and then it got leeched away by 9-5 and failures and poor health. Now I almost feel nervous to be excited about it cause I know the real chances of success are so low, so I gotta learn how to enjoy the process for the sake of the process, making this a way of life and not a way of life goal to be achieved, as in once I make it big then I’ll have the way of life I enjoy. I need some meditation right now lol

I mean learning to enjoy life now and the process of just working on stuff, and not see now as suffering and a crappy life that you gotta push through to get to the greener grass on the other side

The YouTube success happened so randomly
I had no expectations I just made a video I thought was cool
And turned out my gut feeling was right
I was just following my gut
Actually the entire YouTube thing was me following my gut

last 2 days i got stuff done at different times of day, cause haven’t been up early enough to do it then but i guess i did what i could.
been doing ZZ a lot, at least twice, when i get up and before bed, and a bit after work as well.
just gotta keep going.
im keeping alarm to 8AM for now, i think thats a good “emergency” alarm. Hopefully ill start waking up before the alarm consistently, but 8AM is a good emergency cause it give me enough time for most of my workout at least, like Zhan Zhuang and other stuff.
I figure through the health stuff in the morning it’ll help continue to transform my self into a healthier version, and by sticking to doing it in the morning itll be as easy as possible to be consistent.
I think 8AM is a solid emergency alarm cause even at 2AM that’s 6 hours of sleep. I think anything after 2AM is basically ridiculously too late, cause in my opinion 4AM is basically the start of morning, or at least the transition.

I like the idea of going to bed between 11PM-12AM on average but i gotta wake up nice and early consistently so my body wants to sleep more around that time naturally.

anyways… 8AM feels right as far as alarms go. its called an alarm for a reason, its for emergencies.

i think somethin happening.
Smile Enjoy Life, Love and Peace, Zhan Zhuang LETTING GOOOOOOOO….

I think i fully understand why i dread the app work so much.
At the beginning even thought i had the money motivation as well, there was also a pure excitement to learn app dev game making. As the months went by the pressure to get the work done to finally start making money and quitting the terrible job grew, and with it the money angle became more and more important and the fun of just making apps waned and waned until it was all but gone.
That’s how it happened.

been waking up too late in the morning still, but on days off i have been at least doing some workout and chores in the afternoon.
I kinda feel motivated once i fully wake up and have lots of free time ahead so i dont have to rush.
i just gotta get started a few hours earlier.
At work, I was gonna write some stuff like the following
When one thing goes another thing arises
Let go of the “bad” and the “good” will happen of its own accord
Whatever you do, even if it’s “bad”, squeeze it for all it’s worth and enjoy the experience to the fullest

And when I woke up this morning around 9 I didn’t wanna get up so I just laid in bed but I smiled and enjoyed the comfort, let myself enjoying y the comfort, an hour later my cat was loud and it made me wanna get up and it wasn’t too bad, my body felt tight as usual but I drank some water and did 1 hour of Zz which was tremendous, so much stiffness was released, my eyes were tearing up, just a very strong session overall.
I went to work and at first I was feeling ok I was smiling and stuff, but after walking and walking my hands were freezing and my body was getting tighter and tighter and I just can’t keep up the smiling enjoy life vibe… I just can’t my body is in too much discomfort and my breathing feels affected. If I try to slow down everything down physically it has a limited effect, I have to just do like at least a 20 minute zz session to release enough stiffness to feel better again.
I just wish I could maintain the zz magic all day long, my life would be transformed forever, it would be a blissful existence. I gotta be patient of course but I do Experiment a bit too.
All I know is a proper Zz session does the trick, and that when my body is a proper relaxed state then smiling and enjoying g life feels obviously correcT way to live. I become full of love and peace. More zz.

but must also be patient and let natural processes take place.

[Huang] Di:
“When someone has had an illness for long and
is not healthy even though [that person’s] qi follows [its regular course again]
if [that person] is emaciated even though the illness has left [already], why is
Qi Bo:
“A brilliant question of a sage, indeed!
It is impossible to substitute the transformations [of nature by one’s own activities];
it is impossible to disobey time!408
once the conduits and network [vessels] have become passable and
once [the patient’s] blood and qi follow [their regular courses again],
[the patient’s] insufficiencies return to normal and
[his state will be] identical to that of all [healthy people].
Rest and wait for the time [of recovery].
Carefully guard the [patient’s] qi,
lest it moves towards imbalance.
This way the [patient’s] physical appearance will look fine and [his] generative
qi will grow.
[A healer who achieves this] is called sage king.
Hence when the Great Essential states:
‘Do not substitute the transformations [of nature by your own activities];
do not disobey time.
It is essential to nourish and it is essential to harmonize,
and to wait for it to recover,’
then this means just the same.”
[Huang] Di:

[by generating] anxiety they overcame anger; [by generating]
fear they over­came joy; [by generating] anger they overcame pondering; [by generating] joy they overcame anxiety;

ancient suggestive therapy
No need for medicine, external crutches.
What is needed is cultivated from within.

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