Stagnation Report 6/21

eyesight has been greatly improved!!!

im writing this without wearing my glasses, for the first time in like 15 years im seeing letters on a computer screen without any glasses.

If i didn’t do all the studying and researching and expanding my mind about the possibilities of the human body, i wouldn’t have been able to believe this is happening. But still, I’m just shocked with a mix of pure joy and pure anger at our society for propagating such untruths about whats possible.

Im well on my way to restoring my vision, i mean what the fuck!!!!


Second day waking up early, the chronic stiffness woke me up in the night with nausea but I lay on my back with slow attentiveness and my body started warming up and feeling more relaxed and nausea went away and I fell asleep.
Had a crazy nitemarish dream I was in a convo with some Asian escort and a dude about why I can’t be in exclusive relationship due to my sexual desires and how it’s driving me mad, then I was on a train and bus while taking a test, and after submit test I had urge to masturbate but I didn’t wanna do it on the train/bus, but just as I was about to get home the urge overtook me and I snuck to two women napping almost on top of each other at some back seat and there was some curtain type covering so I pulled out my dick and put it in their mouths and they woke up and about to make a scene but then they liked it and I kept going, but then I busted a huge nut that went everywhere and the passengers gasped.
Then I was on suburban street and hearing the public outrage about my behavior, and I was looking for a “save game” file in my head to go earlier in the dream before I came but not so early that I haven’t submitted the test yet cause I didn’t wanna do it all over again.

Then just at the end of the dream I found a save that was for 8am of that day maybe and I felt a good feeling like it was a good spot before the public ejaculation but either close to or after taking the test, and then I began loading the dream and it played the loading sound from the game no man’s sky.

Then I got a woke up and realized I had a wet dream, chronic stiffness is moderate but could be worse.

I did the brain app game and duolingo language app for 35 days in a row, accidently skipped a day due to inattentiveness and then did another like 40 days in a row.
I find that the reason i’ve been able to do them every day is because i can do them at any time that’s available. This is because it only takes a few minutes right? both app lessons combined is like 10 minutes of my time, and you know i do feel an improvement after almost 3 months.

Now the reason i’m able to do the lessons at any time is because its so easy, and so short of a time sink. I know it’ll only be a few minutes so it doesn’t burden my brain.

I can almost literally feel how the thought process goes like this “ahh shit i didn’t do my brain game today” -> “I gotta do it now” -> “ehhh feels like too much work” -> “oh wait its only like a tiny amount of minutes” -> “hmm such a little amount of time for maintaining my 40 day streak and counting” -> “ok lets do it”

There’s no way i wouldn’t have broken the streak if it was even a 30 minute commitment.

I gotta look at my app work in the same light, meaning i gotta do what’s easy in the context of my app work, even if it seems completely useless.

If there’s anything i’ve learned from my feldenkrais studies its that everything is connected, there is overlap everywhere.
Perhaps just sitting down at my computer, launching my Unity3D program and simply taking a look at my project and catching up on it a bit and doing JUST THAT every day for a week or a month will get the ball rolling.

I actually have a feeling that it will, just a gut feeling.

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