hmm ok

STAGNATION LOG

3/31
1230am
got up 10amish… 1 hour zz some tanning and did few hours on computer minor app work, its a start lol also did chinese lessons and brain game.

3/25
936am
Fourth day waking up early, I went to bed at like 10pm last night cause my body was just so tight sitting on stool for hours recording my new YouTube video and editing, I think I did it for a good 7 hours. I should have done some zz afterwards but I just got to tired and went to bed. Ended up waking at 230am feeling like shit and kept laying in bed for awhile then finally I just laid on my back in a zz way and felt my body relax a bit and breathing improve and was finally able to more comfortably spend a few more hours in bed. I did have motivation issues to get up this morning but since I went to bed so early I did finally get up around 830.
3/23
805Am
Third day in a row I’m up in the morning, it’s been easy because I went to bed feeling very sleepy, the first 2 nights I crashed around 9 and woke up around 330am while yesterday I was up to 11ish and got up around 730. I’ve been tanning for a good hour at least on all the days, I think the day before the first one I woke up around 10ish and had a chance to get some sun. I’m feeling fluctuations in my drive but so far I haven’t got any real work done, mostly Zhan zhuang, tanning, a bit of moving exercises. It’s 8 now and I’m drinking some hot water after which I’m gonna do my morning practice, and so then my afternoon and evening should be more free to do other things, I have no work today.

3/13

712pm

Zz smile enjoy life
3/12

1005pm

found an excellent way to describe incorrect slowness,Don’t move so slow that you feel you have to be strong to control the movement

610pm

stayed up all night and spent several hours laying in the sun in backyard, crashed for a few hours after but I’m glad I got so much sun, hope it helps me fix the sleep.

also,

I’d you’re a detective investigating the scene of a crime, and you just look from one point of interest to the next fast and leave, it’s less likely you’ll make relevant connections and find clues compared to observing the crime scene slowly taking the time to take in each point of interest and do further comparing to each other.

If the awareness of the scene is there, then slow living is a critical ingredient to enhance the experience.

But if awareness is on other things like your phone, then taking things slow won’t help examine the scene. The attention is as critical as the slowness.

1210am

man just gotta take it easy and do zz and chill the fuck out like for real man….

3/10

628pm

i can’t forget how I let go of my porn addiction and that eventually led to a sex life. Zz helped me experience self love and peace which helped me finally let go of my addiction and a few months after letting go my body went thru enough withdrawal and transformation that I had an irresistible urge to meet women and that was all that it took for me to put in the work to get it.

I’ll assume that some poor lifestyle habits is preventing me from experiencing the same drive for app development that I used to experience but I’m not sure what it is exactly, maybe it’s the failures making me feel hopelessness and insecurity about keeping going, I’m not sure. But I think the same self love approach will help let go of whatever block I have and then all I gotta do is nothing, just patiently wait for the good vibes to come back and that natural drive will return.
I thinkmy fear of seizing the day is keeping me from waking up early even though I’m totally capable of doing it. There’s no excuses once I’m up in the morning, just my fear of success I think. I gotta do more zz and prac use more self love and peace to stop bein GB afraid of greatness. This is da way lol hopefully

1126am

Last 2 days stayed up all night but crashed late morning until evening. Last night went to bed 3am, set alarm to 8am, laid on couch for an hour or so then paced in backyard for over an hour in the sun, talking to myself. Gonna do zz now.

555pm
It’s all about careful experiencing
If you’re too agitated you can’t do it anymore
The more jacked up I got
The more effort it took to sit down and do app work
Probably the jacked version of myself would have flunked out of college
Maybe
ZZ restores the ability to experience life
My constant failure to do slow living is a testament to how jacked I am
I get all pent up and frustrated
ZZ must be done very slowly
I’m ZZ one must really experience every moment of standing
Imagine calm environment
Go deep
Not move around but if shaking happens let it happen
We must restore the ability to focus on a task
So that engagement happens naturally
If there’s too much agitation then it’s impossible to do something like app dev without a lot of willpower which eventually burns one out if one loses meaning
I realize how I’m incapable of focusing anymore
Can’t eat dinner without watching a video
Can’t wash all the dishes cause I get impatient
Can’t do app work because the whole project enters my mind so I can’t just focus on one step at a time
Can’t get in the zone in handball because too distracted by score and performance instead of just experiencing the present moment of action calmly
The inability to carefully experience details life
One ends up only acting on reflexes and fears
Go to work
Eat
Basic motivations
It’s almost lucky to be poor cause if you’re rich then you’ll really just lay on your couch and waste away into nothing
Like retirement for some people
If there’s any effort worth making
It’s the effort to experience life to the fullest
And that means slowing down enough to do so
While remaining calm and relaxed in the present moment
ZZ directly helps teach this
But it’s too easy to habitually lose the zz magic and become inattentive as usual
It’s important to keep the zz state as long as possible
Slow living after zz
Good combo
Zz to slow living to necessary fast moments
Zz -> slow living -> fast moments
Lol